Losing it
by MalfoyxPotter
Summary: One of the boys muses over how they feel for the other Implied Slash Harry/Draco Been reposted many time please review I love hope you'll love it too!
1. Losing It

Story: Losing It

**Story: Losing It. Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all**

**Bold- Draco POV**

**Italics- Harry POV**

**Normal: 3rd person POV**

**Losing it.**

**I was losing it I thought to myself as I paced back and forth out front of his common** **room. Losing it. I can't shake this feeling that I've had this feeling of Obsession The** **feeling that I've always had for him, elevated into much more.**

**Words.**

**Words popped into my head whenever I thought of him. What's happening to me?** **These words were repeating themselves obsessively in my mind. Whenever I see his face, scowling back at me, or staring in quiet contemplation words flooded in. I couldn't get him out of my head. Each word appeared cruder than the last.**

**Stalk.**

**The first word: Stalk. Definition: To pursue by tracking stealthily. That definition** **could never define the meaning behind the word. To watch, to pine for, to desire. My** **definition of stalk. I guess you could say that sometimes my stalking was not so** **stealthy, but I am only human. Human enough, to think about you when I** **shouldn't, so human that here I am, pacing out-front your common room for no** **particular purpose. It's almost laughable, if you have that sick sense of humor that do. It's a game, like cat and mouse guess which one you are? The game is seemingly endless, but I come out on top, I always do. I'll keep toying with you though,** **because I know it's what you what, I'll play you game for now for one reason, as** **long as we keep up this charade I keep coming back to your common room, to stalk.**

**Sex.**

**The second word: Sex, crude in it's demented lovely way, when I think of I think of** **you blushing. You would blush when someone says it. Sex. I wonder what it would** **be like, you and I. Sex. I wonder if you've done it before. Probably not, you would** **be a blushing virgin. It's endearing in its own innocent way. Maybe I'd tell you I** **was a virgin. Just to level the playing field. Then maybe you would stop blushing so** **much. Do you have any idea what that blush does to me? The way it creeps past** **your neck across your chiseled jaw, up to that gorgeous face, I could watch you** **blush all day. You infuriate me you know? The way you're so damn ignorant, and** **how you think the sun shines out of your arse. Despite how gorgeous it may be. You** **infuriate me because I think the sun shines out of your arse. I think I love you, I** **think I'm obsessed with you.**

**Obsessed.**

**The word. Back to that word that sums up in 8 insignificant letters how much I** **want you. The words that show that I cannot live without you because I am, by** **definition obsessed. Still it isn't the perfect way to say how much I need you, to need** **you is much greater than the fact that I want you. I need you. And yet here I am.** **Obsessing, wanting. I am obsessed with you, I obsess over you, you make me feel** **like I want to put you back together, after having ravished and ripped you apart.** **And yet obsessed can't sum it up those strange feelings I have for you, neither can** **stalk or sex. I obsess over you. I stalk you. I want to have sex with you. But none of** **those words, even my favorite obsessed, can prove to you what you mean to me.** **There's only one word. Love, I hate the word. Maybe its because I've never really** **seen what love is, am I afraid of love? I guess I am in many ways I am afraid of you.**

**But I do love you, so much.**

**I paced back and forth for another minute. It was time to end the stalking for tonight. Until another day when I can muse over how I-obsess- no, love you. A noise behind me startled my pacing. I turned around to see you standing there looking tired and bewildered.**

"**What the fuck are you doing here?"**

**Stalking, Obsessing, Loving,**

**I was losing it.**


	2. Undiscovered

To me, you're undiscovered

_To me, you're undiscovered. A code waiting to be cracked. A riddle waiting to be a_ _solved, but at the same time a secret worth keeping. You're a mystery, one for Scooby_ _and the gang to solve. Ha, I bet you don't even know who that is. Seeing as it's a muggle_ _television show you would have nothing to do with it right? You're so ignorant, I hate_ _you. High and mighty, king of it all. At least that's how you were. Something happened_ _to you, that night on the tower, it was the first time my eyes opened and I really saw you._ _Really saw you for someone different than the obnoxious shit that I thought you to be. I saw you as someone with actual human emotions. Anyone could tell that night that you_ _were scared shitless. I know the reason you almost killed Dumbledore was to save your_ _family. I could never hold that against to you. If I ever admitted this to anyone they_ _would probably have me committed to St. Mungos, but honestly I think what you did was_ _very noble. If you had gone through with the plan to kill Dumbledore, you would have_ _risked Azkaban, all to save your family. While I don't care much for your family, I would_ _have done the same thing. That was the day I knew you had changed._

_**Change.**_

_When I think of you, I think of change, the seasons, people, everything, especially you,_ _you change. You have changed, and I've watched you change for the past seven years,_ _watched as you've grown, matured, become better than what I and I think even you, ever_ _imagined that you could be. I've watched you become a man, no longer that nasty little_ _shit I knew you to be all those years ago. You've become someone worth staying awake_ _for, thinking of late at night. For what it's worth Malfoy, I still hate you. I hate the way_ _you think your always right. I hate the way you watch me when you think I'm not_ _looking. Trust me, I'm looking always._

_**Always.**_

_You and me together always. I think about it almost everyday. How it would be if there_ _was no one to stop us. Its irrational, don't I know it but a guy can dream right? Then_ _there's the small fact that you hate me. Hate's a strong word. Appropriate for you and I,_ _everything the hate, the fighting, was always strong between us. Don't worry, as I said_ _before I hate you too. At least that what I continuously tell myself_

_**Delusional.**_

_I think I've gone delusion. What else would explain the fact that everywhere I go you_ _seems to be haunting me. You're everywhere, maybe I am crazy. I don't know what it is_ _about you but no matter what I do I can't get you out of my head. You're like a parasite,_ _sticking to me, draining me. No matter what's happened in the past 7 years it's always_ _come down to you. I know that sounds dramatic but its true. Not to feed your already_ _colossal sized ego, but my world does seem to revolve round you. Everything you did,_ _especially last year, was draining me, making me obsess over you. If I didn't know better_ _I would think you had me under some spell. But why would you do that, seeing as you_ _hate me as much as I hate you. I really am going delusional, I don't hate you. I like you?_ _I don't know how I feel about you, but whatever I do feel its making me go pacing around_ _the grounds late at night, because I can't sleep, with you plaguing my mind ever night,_ _and day. I need to shake it off; I need to shake you off. I'll just go upstairs and sleep, and_ _in the morning I'll forget all about you. As I'm walking through the entrance hall I took_ _one glance towards the stairs leading to you common room. You'd probably laugh out_ _loud if you knew that I actually consider going to your common room and waiting there_ _for you. I cleared that thought out of my head and started walking up the stairs. Third_ _floor, fifth floor, seventh floor. Finally, I can sleep._ _I walked down the corridor towards the Gryffindor common room when I noticed_ _that there was a person outside of it pacing. I laughed. It was probably Neville_ _trapped out side after forgetting the password. Again. But, Neville doesn't have_ _blonde hair, and Neville isn't that tall. No one in Gryffindor tower has hair that_ _blonde. If I didn't no better I would say it was-. No it couldn't be, you would never_ _drag your ass up here. That's just ridiculous. Ten feet away now, I peered through_ _my glasses and almost gasped. It was you._

"_What the fuck are you doing here?" I said surprised at how confident I was able to_ _keep my voice._

_You turned and scowled._

_Oh Shit._


	3. Losing It: Again

**Losing it: Again**

Harry and Draco stared at each other for a good ten seconds; both too nervous too break the silence that fell like a curtain over them in the 7th floor corridor. Finally Draco pulled the look of shock off as his face raised his shoulders, and spoke.

**Oh Shit! Why is he staring at me, I need to keep my cool, oh shit! "I'm doing prefect** **rounds Potter, what's it to you?" I said, that's better Malfoy at least you can talk in** **front of him. Wait, he's smirking at me. Why's he smirking at me! That's my smirk;** **he knows that's its lie. Keep it cool Malfoy you're better than this**.

_I laughed, doing prefect rounds my ass, " really, Malfoy, so why is it your doing prefect_ _round on the seventh floor this isn't you territory"_

**Oh Shit! I didn't think of that, here I go again losing his cool, I should have known** **better than to open my mouth, if I cant keep my cool when I'm standing in front of** **his common room how the fuck am I supposed to open my mouth without swooning.** **Oh god did I really just say swoon, Malfoy's do not swoon, Draco, the voice of my** **father reminded me coldly. Of course they don't, I thought to myself bitterly they** **don't fall in love with and start stalking Potters either. But that didn't stop me.**

"_Malfoy are you alright?" I asked trying to stop my chuckle, I loved the fact that I was_ _able to keep myself together better than he was. " Who are you here to see this time?_ _Parvati, Lavender? Did they forget to come get you, or did they kick out your sorry ass_ _already?"_

"**Fuck off Potter what I'm doing out here is none of your business, besides I** **wouldn't touch those Gryffindor whores with a ten foot pole, why don't you just get** **inside and go fuck the weasel." Better Draco, at least you don't look like a fucking pussy anymore.**

"_Fuck you Malfoy, you as usual have your head stuck so far up your ass that you have no_ _idea what you're talking about." Does he see how nervous I am? Of course I've never_ _fucked Ron but, does he know I'm gay, oh shit, he probably thinks I'm a fucking fairy,_ _oh god now what._

**Oh shit, I went too far how will Harry ever talk to me now, no potter he's not Harry** **he's Potter, POTTER I cant believe I've got myself going this crazy over that** **fucking dorky cross-eyed scar head, muggle-loving, pea brained, green eyed, tousled** **haired, chiseled face, DRACO get a mother fucking hold on yourself. I can't take** **this I have to get out of here before I do something even more embarrassing.**

"_Malfoy did you hear me" God, he really is more dense than he lets on, why is he staring_ _at me like that is there something on my face, you could probably sick a house-elf on him_ _and he wouldn't notice. "I said get the fuck out of here before I report you to Snape." Oh_ _shit, I'm not being too hard on him am I? Snape probably wouldn't listen to me anyways._ _He probably thinks I'm some tattletale ninny that rats on kids, stupid, stupid stupid._

"Alright Potter don't get your knickers in a twist I'm leaving" Draco turned to leave ignoring the look of shock on Harry's face. Harry couldn't believe that Malfoy was actually going to walk away without a fight. This is insane he must really be out of it. "Oh Malfoy?" Harry called again. "What Potter" "You never did say what you were doing up here."

"**Stalking you Potter, what else would I be doing" laughing I walked away, as soon** **as I turned the corner I slumped against a wall. Did I really just say that aloud?**

**Oh Shit.**

**I rushed back to the Slytherin common room determined not to look behind me** **until I was sure it was safe. I can't believe what an imbecile I am, of all the things to** **say, stalking you! What the fuck why in a flying fuck would I say that he probably** **thinks I'm some weird psycho who's obsessed with him, "Serpent's Pit" I muttered** **opening the corridor that leads to my dorm, almost safe now I could breath freely,** **Someone grabbed me over the shoulder. I jumped and turned. "Potter did you** **follow me down here? Look, whatever I said its late I didn't mean it forget about it** **okay Potter? Just a joke you know a joke between enemies." He laughed. How dare** **he even think to laugh at my expense, he doesn't know who the fuck he's dealing** **with. "Its okay Malfoy you don't have to explain you're little school boy crush to** **me. "Schoolboy crush?! Potter all those times facing Voldemort have made you go** **mad, why are you stepping closer to me Potter stay away I'm warning you!" he** **leaned over and whispered in my ear, "What would think if I told you I had one too,** _**Draco.**_**" He breathed my name in my ears. I shuddered. "Look at this I managed to** **make a Malfoy speechless," He said laughing darkly, "If I can make you speechless** **by just talking to you I wonder what happen if I did this?" He pressed his lips to** **mine in a bruising kiss, my knees collapsed at the audacity of the situation but he** **caught me wrapping my legs around his waist as I kissed him with more fervor than** **could ever be imagined in all the times I thought of us kissing. He pulled away** **smirked and said, "Weak at the knees, Draco whatever would you tell **_**Daddy **_**if he** **saw you like this." I kissed him once more before breaking off laughing and said, "I'd** **tell him I was losing it"**

**END**

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**Thanks for the support this is the final version of losing it I appreciate your feedback so much look out for my new story called **_The Games we Play _**which should be up soon xx Hope you guys like and hope you'll review**

**Xx MalfoyxPotter**


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